The Little Things

It's the little things that put a smile on my face. The little things that would be so easy to forget if I didn't write them down, so I'll blog them before I forget.

It continually amazes me how much Alyssa has grown and developed in the last 13 1/2 months. She constantly surprises me with her understanding of what is going on around her. I've been around a lot of children, but having my own is different. I notice the little things she does and I laugh at how she already has a mind of her own.

Earlier this week she sat in her high chair eating lunch. The phone rang but I let the answering machine pick it up. Tim's voice is on the message on our answering machine. When she heard his voice, she stopped eating and started looking for him, "dada, dad". That wasn't the first time she'd done that, but it just struck me as so precious.

Allie loves to play outside. She runs around from her motorized quad to her sandbox to the slide. While I watch her play, I pull weeds from my neglected flower beds. I usually place the weeds on the brick border of the flower bed until I can pick them all up together. While I was pulling weeds today, Alyssa came over, reached into the flower bed and pulled a weed. Then she proceeded to place it on the brick border just like she sees me do. Too cute.

Along with a mind of her own comes a very distinct attitude all her own. She can be a holy terror sometimes and she's isn't even 14 months old yet. Boy, I'm not sure both of us are going to survive the "Terrible Twos" if it's anything like I imagine it will be. :)

It's a Love-Hate Relationship

That's the way I would describe the relationship between my 13 month old daughter and my almost 3 year old nephew. We used to say that James was Allie's favorite person, and he still is certainly towards the top of her list. She laughs at him when he makes silly faces, she chases after him at the park, and wants to be wherever he is. They play so great together....half of the time.

Then, there's the other half....the pushing, the fighting, the screaming. They're both guilty of these offenses. Today, it was my turn to carpool the kids to Grandma's. Soon after I picked up the boys, the fighting started. Allie was "touching" James' carseat and he let her know he didn't appreciate that. I heard him in the backseat, "No, Allie, No!" shortly followed by screams from her. I said, "James, did you hit Allie?" I could tell the wheels in his head were turning, "Did I hit her? noooo." "So, do you know why she's crying?" And in his sweet innocent voice he replies, "yeah, I bite her finger!"

Oh, but the fun didn't stop there. Just moments later, Allie took James' shoe. James tried to get it back from her. She clung to that shoe for dear life. Then, in typical Allie fashion, she began flailing her arms to try and keep the shoe away from James. 10 month old Ryan, who was sweetly sleeping in his carseat next to Allie, became the innocent victim in this cousin-rivalry and got hit in the face with the shoe and Allie's flailing arms. Needless to say, I now had 3 screaming children in the back seat.

Yep, it's a love-hate relationship and we wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Bitter-Sweet Mother's Day

Alyssa was just a couple of weeks old last year on Mother's Day. Every Mother's Day for several years prior to Allie's birth was something I dreaded with my whole heart. I'd try to be happy when the mothers were honored at church but I'd be quietly choking back tears. I hated it. I hated that another year had come and gone and I still wasn't pregnant. I hated that I had two beautiful babies in Heaven and not one to hold here. I hated that so many unmarried teens had what I wanted more than anything....a baby.

Then, last year, God chose to give me the gift of a beautiful daughter. Now, Mother's Day is completely different for me. Usually, special days like this seem to sneak up on me, but this year I've been thinking a lot about it. This year, I can't help but think about how bitter-sweet it is:

The Sweet:
Our precious blessing, Alyssa, is 13 months old. She is healthy, smart, and full of energy. She keeps us hopping! We have 2 more additions to the extended family (Ryan and Madolyn) since last Mother's Day. This is my sister's first Mother's Day. I have the most amazing mom and a wonderful mother-in-law. I'm so thankful for the encouragment and wisdom they've provided.

The Bitter:
This is the first Mother's Day without Grandma and we'll miss her. There are friends who should be anticipating the births of their children, but these children have already gone to be with Jesus and now these mother's are facing this day without them. Their hearts broken. There are the friends who through very difficult circumstances are no longer in contact with their moms and missing them very much on this Mother's Day. And then there are the friends who long to be included in this group of Mother's.

Yes, Mother's Day is bitter-sweet. I am so thankful for the blessings God has given us, but I also think of those woman who face a difficult day and I pray for them.

Chills and Thrills

This past weekend, my siblings and families went to Six Flags Magic Mountain. We had a blast! I was so worried about taking Alyssa but she did amazingly well. She loved running around the park and getting the attention of all her aunts and uncles as well as just about everyone else in the park. All the babies were so good.

It was a beautiful day! Perfect weather and the lines were so short. At the most, we waited for 20 minutes on 1 ride. On many of the rides we just stayed and rode over and over. Alyssa rode the log ride with us...that wasn't such a good plan. She was terrified. As soon as we went down the big dip she had this look of terror on her face and immediately clung to Tim for dear life. It'll be a few more years before we try that again!

Allie and Daddy riding the carousel

Ryan and Allie sharing a snack

Heart Broken

It's weird how close you can feel to someone you've never met face-to-face. I've been friends with an amazing group of Christian girls for the last three years. We met online as we sought what seemed like an elusive dream for many of us....to be a mom. We've shared our hopes and dreams, our fears, our joys, and our heartaches. These girls mean so much to me. We have a unique and very special friendship. And now, one of these precious ladies is going through the most difficult time she will likely ever face. She and her husband lost their identical twin sons to prematurity. There was nothing they could do to stop her labor and these two beautiful boys were born at just over 23 weeks. How does a mother hold her infant son as he takes his last breath and then almost 24 hours later hold her other infant son as he takes his last breath...and survive? It seems unimaginable to most of us, but God is giving them the strength and grace that only He can give at a time like this. They, of course, are devastated and forever changed. Losing a child is most parents worst fear and they are living that. It's been two months today that these precious boys were born and my heart is just broken for their parents. They are constantly on my heart and in my prayers.

Devon, I don't know if you'll ever read this, but I love you and I'm crying with you.